Conquering Fear

This weekend I went away on my first company retreat. We had a writer's conference at Mt. Lebanon. The place was flooded with BYX members from around the country, but I noticed not a one. Why? Because I have moved on...from college that is. This weekend, armed with a new haircut, my black "fancy" coat, and a killer speech (well...it was supposed to be), I overcame one of my biggest fears...speaking in front of a crowd. Not just any crowd. A crowd of older, wiser, writers. Normally I go through 5 phases during any kind of public speaking. 1. I get butterflies in my stomach, 2. I get a wave of nausea, 3. my hands become clammy, 4. my voice starts to quiver, and 5. I develop sudden amnesia. So, picture this...it was a drizzly, freezing morning. I was dressed all professional like. I walked up to the podium thing, speech notes in hand, and introduced myself. As I started my speech so did the butterflies...then brief nausea...and finally...wait, what's that? calm. That's right. A wave of calm rushed over me. It was amazing. The speech was kind of rough on the edges. But, for once, I didn't feel like passing out. I also didn't feel like a 5 year old in my mom's work clothes. Besides that people actually started reacting to some of my points and asking questions throughout. I wasn't completely fazed either. I actually add-libbed. Anyway the entire thing was sort of like a high. Completely topped any crush high. In fact the entire trip was a high. Imagine a weekend spent cooped up with a bunch of writers and plenty of coffee brewing...so great. Even if publicity isn't exactly my calling (it really isn't), I know that working around and with writers (or as a writer) most definitely is. Jump back. I feel like I'm on my way to becoming some sort of adult. Just call me the comeback kid. ;)