"Birthday, birthday, birthday for you"

“I’m 23. Remember how old 23 seemed when you were little? I mean, I thought people were going to be traveling in airlocks, and I would have 5 kids. Here I am. 23. Things are um, they’re basically the same. I think . . . um . . . time’s running out to do something bizarre. Somewhere around 25 bizarre becomes immature. . .”--Singles, Bridget Fonda’s character

So, I didn’t exactly think I would have 5 kids by 23, but I definitely can relate to what this character is supposed to be feeling. I really do not feel that much older…except when I walk past a Forever 21 store or watch any program on MTV. This is definitely a strange stage of life, but really, aren‘t they all? Anybody remember middle school? I think that it’s getting kind of exciting, though. It’s the transition from kid to adult, at least for me. I’ve slowly (very slowly) started fading out t-shirts from my closet (thanks Jan), and I’m trying to keep the impulse jean-buying to a minimum.

23rd birthday get together was a lot of fun (we celebrated memorial day weekend), regardless of my friends finding my slightly embarrassing pro/con list for places to live. It was a 3-parter. We toured a vineyard in Grapevine, which was really small, but interesting and really pretty. I now have a favorite wine--Chardonnay. I now also have a bottle of that favorite wine in my closet…but have no bottle opener. One step at a time. Then we had dinner and then we went to Pete’s Piano Bar. Mmmm…I had a slight headache the next day, but that’s ok because I got to have brunch at Einstein’s with a couple of friends. Anybody who knows me knows my obsession with brunches. And I got to walk with a friend around my neighborhood and just talk. Also have a thing for going on walks. Really, doesn’t get much better. My birthday curse officially has been lifted.

Also, this has been the best week ever! Let's recap:

So I had a hellacious day on Tuesday, appropriate because it was 6/6/06. Temp job fell through. Had to drive all around Dallas to another dead end. Freaked out and went on find-a-job mania. I went to another temp agency and filled out lots of tests and learned I can type 83 words per minute…like that’s helpful. I could always become one of those court people who type everything you’re saying…but seeing as how I’m sort of getting carpel tunnel (sp?), probably not the best idea. Anyway, as soon as I got out of the temp place I saw I had a message on my cell. Love messages. Didn’t know the number. Checked and it was a guy from the community newspaper affiliated with the DMN I had applied to. I was overly giddy on the phone, but, luckily, he still asked for an interview on Thursday. Wednesday, on actual birthday, I turned 23, and had dinner with my lady and Jan. Then on Thursday I had my interview…which sort of went well, but I still felt like a major idiot. Spent the rest of the afternoon listening to sad music…Vienna by Billy Joel became my theme song. Cried a little and was dangerously close to locking myself in my cave-like apartment. Pictured being found 2 weeks later sitting in my dark closet with a brown-paper-bag covered empty bottle of Chardonnay... luckily my evening was redeemed--I had gotten 2 Alias DVDs in the mail. Nothing like a little television addiction to take your mind off things. Watched…a lot of episodes. Thought about the stupid things I said…then woke up Friday, determined to write the most awesome thank-you e-mail ever. I had some pride left. Anyway, did that and sat on the couch to watch 13 Going on 30 (It’s my cheer up movie). As it was playing, rather loudly, I got a call from the paper. Had to run in my closet to muffle the noise. Unfortunately my apartment is built like a fort, so reception was cutting out. Had to repeat my, “I said, hello, how are you doing?“ Sounded retarded. But...was told that I got the JOB!!! I’m an assistant editor. I don’t actually write articles, but whatever it’s an in, at least sort of. And I get benefits and a salary. No more hourly crap. Although hourly it doesn't work out to much more than I have been making temping...irrelevant. And I get vacation time. I think it was God’s birthday present to me. :) Friday night, went to the movies to celebrate…and got hair highlighted. I like to reward myself…a lot. Probably should have waited to get my first paycheck…but whatever. I‘m impulsive. So anyway I definitely qualify as the VH1 candidate for having the best week ever.

Now back to my summer series for this year…Alias. It’s actually a really good show. Eye candy like Michael Vartan and the guy who plays Will Tipon…and dead Danny for that matter…aside, the story is really gripping and well-written (more props to JJ Abrams. Love that guy). Of course, the cliffhanger loses some of its appeal seeing as how I don’t have to wait a week to watch what happens (unless, of course, it’s the last DVD in the mail round. On that note, make it snappy blockbuster).

Take two:

The girl who cried Connecticut

So, I wanted to post parts of this blog earlier, but couldn't because of my ghetto internet situation. So, anyway, Perhaps this new job means I will stay in Dallas for a while, which means no CT, for now. Perhaps in a year. Perhaps in 3 months if this job doesn't work out. Who knows. Oh well. I guess I better start planning my crazy thing...meanwhile, here are the lyrics for this sad, yet disturbingly hopeful song...

Vienna

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right(you're right)

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

And you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
Why don't you realize...Vienna waits for you
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Real Life: Freshman Year

So, I did it. I survived my first year out of college. Wow. So much has happened in a year, it’s crazy. I’ve definitely had tightrope walking moments during which I felt like I was dangerously close to spiraling into a deep hole of carelessness. But the kicker is that I didn’t. I was always semi scared of being by myself, but you’re never really by yourself, now are you? I think that I’ve definitely grown stronger this year. I gave my first speech without losing it. I’ve faced awkward situations head on and without buffers. I survived without a best friend by my side (only accessible by phone). I think I’m starting to get the hang of this grown up thing (knock on wood). Yeah, I’ve definitely had my immature moments (many, many of them), but who doesn’t, really?
Let’s recap: Freshman year, high school--painfully awkward. Freshman year, college--exciting and slightly scary…but mostly exciting. Freshman year, real world--a mix of college and high school reactions, I think…but with a twist…a side of moments of maturity--paying most of my own bills, signing a lease to my own apartment, making older, wiser friends (wink wink), adjusting to the 8-hour work day, coming to terms with a growing number of friends saying “I do,” etc. Now, obviously I’m still only 22..so I’m not switching to ally mcbeal-esq. suits and briefcases just yet. I still have a strong urge to do immature things, and I sort of hope that never goes away. Yeah, I do get obsessive about stuff and I do get inspired easily, but I like that about myself. I want to laugh to the point of silent laughter and slight asphyxiation. I want to go to Disney World or Land at least once a year. I want to continue making meaningless cd mixes for my friends (seriously, those aren‘t meaningless, they‘re awesome). I want to scream on rollercoasters and eat cotton candy and cracker jacks at baseball games. Ok, you’ve just experienced a rant. Sorry. Anyway it’s been a crazy, crazy year filled with not all good times. Many, many tears shed. Many, many life-contemplative moments. Many, many Coldplay-listening, curled up in a ball watching the rain sessions. But, also, many, many small victories that counted for so much more. Ready for summer after college, round 2.

By the way...power of persuasion worked--my mom is no longer moving to Houston!!! Love it! More options, more options...this time next year I could be Gilmore Girlin' it up in CT...hmmm...tempting...

Year in Review:

Number of companies worked for: 5
Number of “company trips”-2
Number of new friends made: 12
Number of new friends lost (directly and through association) and now have to avoid: 5 (that’s probably not a great track record. Will try harder in the future)
Number of cell phones gone through: 4
Number of theme park visits: 5
Number of blog entries: …yikes. Sorry, I had too many thoughts this year. Feel free to tell me, too much information, when I need to “check myself.”
Number of mini crushes: 5
Number of massages: 1 paid one…7 or 8 at the chiro. Paid one was better and less painful.
Number of car accidents: 1
Number of phone calls to college friends just to vent: hundreds
Number of broken cell phones: 3
Number of new embarassing workout classes tried: 4
Number of nights just to go out and have fun: not enough
Number of churches attended-2...1...2 (same church, different campuses)
Number of fair/carnival visits-1
Number of visits to aquarium-1
Number of Dart rides-2 (still need to plan my Dart day. It will happen)

East Coast Style

Sadness. My mom has decided to leave Connecticut. I mean, I wasn't for sure going to move there, but I liked the possibility. It can still be a possibility, right? Such a cute state with such cute towns. She's considering moving to Houston, yuck! That's not cute at all. I'm bummed. I guess I'll have to embrace Dallas a little longer. I've sort of created my own little world in my apartment, so I guess that's fine, for now. Just you wait, I will figure out where I'm supposed to be sooner or later. I'm pretty sure it will be somewhere on the East Coast. What can I say? I miss my shows starting at 8 p.m. and not 7. I miss my trader joe's. I miss my snowy winters. I miss my Bertucci's. Some day. Some day. It's not over New England. We will meet again. I'm down, but I'm not out.

HOTT-hot

So...what happened to Spring? 100 degree <--boooooo. Anyway, courtesy of my sister I have been introduced to Aqualung. Sooo great. This is my Ben Jelen of this year. So excited. Definitely download this (and the entire cd for that matter) from iTunes or whatever downloading system if you get the chance. I LOVE it!

Brighter Than Sunshine

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling

Tied up in ancient history
I didnt believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, i don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
and it's brighter than sunshine

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight
suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

I got a feeling in my soul ...

Forever Young

Second star to the right and straight on til morning...

“All the leaves are brown…and the sky is grey. California dreaming on such a winter‘s day”

“We’ve got more bounce in California than all yall combined”

“Welcome to the Hotel California. Such a lovely place. Such a lovely face”

“We wish they all could be California girls”

“California here we come right back where we started from”

It’s that time of year!!! No more reading about Disneyland trips…I’m going. That’s right, this weekend, me in LA hitting up Disneyland and California Adventure with my sister! Take that 4th graders. I’m so excited you can’t even imagine. That place never gets old. Seriously, I could live there...well, in Disney World in Orlando, actually. You think I'm joking, but I'm really not. I hope it doesn't rain on my Disney parade (wink wink)...anyway, no blue thinking because I'm going to be in So Cal. Maybe I'll get tan by default...probably not. I was leaving the gym today and this cute guy walked up to me (of course I'm sweating and disgusting) and he basically tried to sell me a tanning membership. Story of my life. He's like, "Have you ever tanned before." I was like..."come on, what do you think?!" Oooh so defensive. I know, I know. Anyway, I'm packing my digicam and I will make myself take pictures. lots and lots. :)

One more line from my 4th grade essays that I read recently: "we were staying in Threasure Island. One of the suitest hotels in Las Vegas." <--kid after my heart.

The Day the Music Died

So...when did coffee stop working? I feel like I'm drinking sugar water. Except with sugar water you would at least get that initial jolt before you crashed. I was so dead tired all day today. Maybe I should switch to espresso or a double shot of something...Really, besides for the flavor and pure joy of having coffee, I think one of the main reasons I drink it is to ward off the potential headache. What is this?! It effects me enough to give a headache if I don't drink it, but I no longer get that caffeine boost I need? Apparently I've built up a tollerance...and an addiction. We, my college roommate and I, once made coffee with espresso, because we were too dense to realize what it was. We were just like, man this needs a lot of creamer. So we drank it, and we both noticed that we would get the shakes in class. We couldn't concentrate on anything. We called it crazy coffee. I think I could use some of that right about now.

Spring forward

Right...so, this morning I woke up an hour late, because my phone didn't switch time automatically in time...anyway, it since has switched. But, after lounging around for hours...I decided to get control of my life. I need to clean out the cob webs, not only in my house, but also in my life. So, because music is sort of a huge part of my life, I went on ITunes and downloaded some tunes for my Summer Love mix. Cheesy, yes. But, I've decided to come to terms with the fact that I am, and always will be, a total cliche. I just want to be one of those good cliches. I need to get it together. I think the breaking point was when I was standing on the elevator with a brown sweatshirt, black shoes, and a black purse. Not only did I not match, I also was struggling to balance a cup of coffee, my breakfast, my mismatched purse, and a bottle of water. When you start to not match, you catch yourself wearing Baylor paraphernalia almost every day and you're hair is a constant mess...something's wrong. So, I've made a deadline for myself. I need to completely straighten crap out before my birthday which, in case you didn't know, is June 7th. I probably will be spending that weekend in San Diego with my mom and sister (love it). But, I'd like to have fun in Dallas as well...so I need to not be a pathetic mess by then. So, check-off list to getting it together includes:

Really clean my apartment so that I don't have to apologize for my mess every time somebody comes over
Apply for real jobs, not just starbucks and barnes and noble
Meet some of my neighbors, besides the limo driver across the hall (though he could be a good contact to have...)
Get out of the apartment enough for my freckles to come out. Don't really like freckles, but I do need to see the sun sometimes (and not through the window at work or at the gym). Also, I think my whiteness frightens people...I'm like an albino Hispanic
Clean out my car
Figure out if I'm going to stay in Dallas after my lease runs out
Find an entourage ;)
Stop snoozing

Ok, well, that pretty much sums it up for now. And, on that note, I'm off to the gym, then more cleaning while watching Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives...Countdown to birthday: 66 days. If you have any additional check-off points, feel free to post them