I'm with stupid

So, yesterday I felt like a complete idiot. Well, not just yesterday, basically all of last week...or at least the last half. On Thursday I was pulled over by a cop. Why? Because way back in August, when I got my registration renewal sticker, I peeled off the wrong one. That's right, I peeled off the inspection sticker. So, for 6 months I've been driving around with 2 registration stickers and no one noticed. Luckily I didn't get a ticket. On Friday I was pulled over again for the same thing. This time I did get a ticket. So, not only did I have to get a new inspection, I also get to pay for a ticket for peeling off the wrong sticker. Also, I didn't have my car insurance card. Oh my. So, I must go to court with my insurance card in hand to prove that I have car insurance. So, no, I didn't get a ticket for speeding or breaking the law in any way. I got a ticket for being an idiot. :)

Is love a fancy or a feeling...or a Ferris

"You've got a sweet love hangover and you don't need no cure." --VM

MacFayden eyes...mmm...I love Jane Austen. Honestly, favorite author of all time. So I was thinking, as synical as I can be about relationships sometimes and love, I have to say that, when I watch or read Pride and Prejudice (or it's incarnation, Bridget Jones's Diary) I turn into a big marshamallow. It's coming out on DVD you know. Feb. 28. We're having a PP party that week to celebrate.

So for Valentine's Day I watched the Charlie Brown Valentine's special. Charlie gets all excited about the holiday, because he is enamored with the little red-head girl. He thinks he's going to get a bunch of Valentine's cards, but he doesn't. In fact, he doesn't even get one. All he gets is a little Valentine's candy heart that says, "forget it kid."
Later, when some kids feel sorry for him and offer him a used V-day card, he gladly accepts. Despite Schroder's protests that Charlie is too good for that, Charlie accepts. He is floating on cloud nine at the thought that somebody cared about him for once. So sweet. So sweet.
It seems, no matter how synical and thwarted by love we get, deep down we still want it. We still gladly accept the smallest doses.
So here's to becomming somebody's little red-head girl, even if just for a moment.

Conquering Fear

This weekend I went away on my first company retreat. We had a writer's conference at Mt. Lebanon. The place was flooded with BYX members from around the country, but I noticed not a one. Why? Because I have moved on...from college that is. This weekend, armed with a new haircut, my black "fancy" coat, and a killer speech (well...it was supposed to be), I overcame one of my biggest fears...speaking in front of a crowd. Not just any crowd. A crowd of older, wiser, writers. Normally I go through 5 phases during any kind of public speaking. 1. I get butterflies in my stomach, 2. I get a wave of nausea, 3. my hands become clammy, 4. my voice starts to quiver, and 5. I develop sudden amnesia. So, picture this...it was a drizzly, freezing morning. I was dressed all professional like. I walked up to the podium thing, speech notes in hand, and introduced myself. As I started my speech so did the butterflies...then brief nausea...and finally...wait, what's that? calm. That's right. A wave of calm rushed over me. It was amazing. The speech was kind of rough on the edges. But, for once, I didn't feel like passing out. I also didn't feel like a 5 year old in my mom's work clothes. Besides that people actually started reacting to some of my points and asking questions throughout. I wasn't completely fazed either. I actually add-libbed. Anyway the entire thing was sort of like a high. Completely topped any crush high. In fact the entire trip was a high. Imagine a weekend spent cooped up with a bunch of writers and plenty of coffee brewing...so great. Even if publicity isn't exactly my calling (it really isn't), I know that working around and with writers (or as a writer) most definitely is. Jump back. I feel like I'm on my way to becoming some sort of adult. Just call me the comeback kid. ;)

"I think I'm gonna like it here"

I am woman, hear me...squeak?!

This weekend I moved into my new apartment! My mom and I unloaded an entire u-haul of boxes (lots of stuff that has been in storage forever) by ourselves, in the rain. That's right. Box by box, with the help of a dolly, we wheeled and carried everything through the garage and up the elevator. Several bruises and soar muscles later I was moved in. Do I feel like an independent woman who is strong and powerful?!?! Sure. Would I rather have had movers or a dad do it for me...um, yeah. But that's ok. I guess it was a bonding experience or something. Anyway several shopping trips later (for apartment stuff) I also am the proud new owner of a lovely, comfy, bed. Mmm...they deliver it next Tuesday, and I am so excited. I also have a new, soft, warm down comforter. It's my new favorite material...or is it stuffing?! Anyway it crinckles. I love it. This next place seems really fun. They're going to have a boot-camp workout available soon and there are many community activities. I'm excited to meet my neighbors and I really think you can here. It sort of feels like a dorm...only you have your own apartment, it doesn't smell, and it's not noisy. This doesn't mean I'm regressing. I'm living on my own in a new city. Cue the mary tyler moore music. I still have much unpacking to do but I'm looking forward to decorating my own place. Not sure if I mentioned it but apartment-warming gifts are accepted :) "I'm gonna make it after all."

"but seriously, I was reading third wheel, a beginner's guide..."

Sometimes I wonder if some people are just born to be third (or fifth) wheels. If so, I think I’m one of them. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…but wait, maybe there is. When conversations consistently start with, "Oh I went out with my friend and her boyfriend…" you start to really hear what you’re saying. Third-wheel syndrome is very common. Symptoms include but are not limited to: wandering eyes (due to having to avert them from PDA sessions),tendency to walk slightly in front or behind someone (as sidewalks generally are only wide enough for two), and making conversation with yourself (due to…oh, maybe that’s just me). Being the third wheel is kind of like that awkward moment in high school when a couple is making out in front of your locker. Oh, I was that girl waiting and waiting just to get her books. How does this relate? Well, being the third wheel is like an evening of feeling like you're a peeping tom. You're along just to watch a couple be all romanticky. Not fun. Fun to watch in the movies played out as romantic comedies, not so much when it's your friends I have nothing against coupling…ok, maybe something…but lately it seems people are just coupling to couple and avoid being the third wheel. Now, I agree, third wheel is not the best place to be. It’s shakey, it’s unstable, it’s just, plain not fun sometimes. You're like the training wheels for couples and that's not right. Nobody wants to be the buffer or the dead weight. Being single is not the end of the world. It really isn't. Being with the wrong person is worse then being with nobody, in my opinion anyway. I have nothing against hanging out with couples, but there's a time and a place for everything. Valentines day, no. Sporting event, ok. Movies, you have to be careful as romantic comedies can become a snuggle fest on the couch next to you. It just seems like there's this weird kind of segregation between singles and non-singles (daters, not necesarily married). So all of this is not to say that I'm bitter about being single. Quite the contrary. I just don't want to be the third wheel. So couples, please be weary of your single friends. As much as you protest that it will not be awkward...it almost always is.