Homecoming comeback...waco or bust

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

This weekend was Baylor homecoming and when people ask, "how was it," I have to say, it was good and bad...actually a lot more bad than good. I'd call it the bipolar weekend. It had it's ups, wait, what were they again? Um...Mr. Snow?! And it had it's downs; three days of awkward hellos and letdown after letdown. The bonfire was...practically desserted. When we were getting there we had to dodge a sea of people, including the marching band, walking in the opposite direction. That should have been the first clue. Anyway, I'm not going to go into great detail because honestly, who cares? I will say that it was surreal. I felt old and young at the same time. Old because I was no longer a student and young because my emotions were at a 14-year-old, overly sensitive, wacked-out level. You want to know what weird is? Weird is going back to your college apartment after it has been emptied and taking a nap on your old bed with someone else's sheets. Weird is visiting all of the familiar places and finding them completely remodeled. Weird is visiting those changed places without your college roommate. And perhaps the weirdest thing is trying to grasp a tiny bit of the past and feeling like you've been slapped in the face when you do. Things are different. Life is different. People are different...a lot different. For the first time, I never felt so happy to pack up my stuff and go. I'm not sure exactly what happened, it all seemed like that nap I took on Saturday afternoon after the football game--a hazy swirl as my mind faded in and out of conciousness. I just know that for the first time since I've been in Garland, I felt a sigh of relief as I walked through my (Linda's) front door. Makeshift home sweet makeshift home.

And just so that you don't think I'm overly dramatic, you don't have to take my word for it....

"Homecoming comeback? More like homecoming crapback." -- Katie

"we should start a facebook group called somethin like 'i thought i missed baylor until i went back for homecoming and it sucked.'"--Renee

retraction

I am retracting part of my last post. Sadly, it's not the part about the hilary song. I don't think I need a distraction because life is really good right now with or without appropriate eye candy. I really like my job, and friends, and Dallas, now that it has gotten cold. So, yes, in conclusion, life=great. Still would be nice to have someone, like Orlando Bloom from Elizabethtown tell you, "you're pretty great ___."

i think i'm turning japanese

I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what its like to be new--Death Cab for Cutie

So, I've started watching Laguna Beach (the real O.C. or so the ads say) and the theme song is by Hilary Duff. Such a crappy singer, I know. Such a crappy song...or is it? Proof that advertising works. If you hear something enough you start to think...not so bad. And now I think it's catchy. This is sad. I need new music. Well, that's not totally true. I love the newest Death Cab cd, Jason Mraz cd and Coldplay cd, which all cover my gloomy moods set aside for drizzly, dreary, chilly, perfect days. But I do need some new catchy, dance around music for sunny, crisp, fall days.

Are my blogs getting boring? I feel like they are.

I've been thinking lately...scary...and I've come to the conclusion that I need a distraction in the form of class crushes. You know when you're in school and you get semi-class crushes on boys? Yeah, that's what I need. Someone to keep you in check. Someone to get giddy over. Just a pawn, really. Donde esta senor Darcy? OR, again, maybe i should just join a book club or take up a new hobby or something. hmmm...I'm restless. You'd think that with my borderline ADD I could just talk to myself in a corner, but really, I don't think it works that way.

living in fast forward

Wishing...
I pray...
To be in love...
On Christmas...
Because Christmas love gives me that feeling (ooh...yeah...)
Wishing...
I pray...
To be in love... (ooo...)
On Christmas... (on Christmas...)
Because everybody should be in love with somebody on Christmas (ooh...)

[JUSTIN] Last year...
Christmas...
It happened without us
I was all mixed up and confused
I didn't know what to do, baby (what to do babe)
I never thought I'd feel this way
I always thought that Christmas was a happy day
I always prayed that Santa'd pack love on his sleigh, and send it my way...

So, I was all psyched about Halloween for about 2 weeks, od-ing on candy corn and such and then my brain just skipped right through to Christmas. That's right, no listening to Thriller (my favorite halloween-esque song) or watching Casper (such a friendly ghost). So, I have to admit...I listened to Christmas songs the other day. I know, I know, EXTREMELY early. Anyway, in high school, I went through a boy bands phase. I resisted as long as I could, but as an old Mickey Mouse Club fan I just couldn't fight it. I mean, I watched the boys from the time Justin wanted to be a country singer and JC played a suffer dude on Emerald Cove. So even though I knew their lyrics were incredibly cheesy and music extremely mechanized, it was fine, because I was in high school. When your in high school, cheesy lyrics are masked by cute faces and pretty voices. So, I got out my NSync Christmas cd and shamelessly sang along. It's strange, the lyrics seemed to be embedded in my subconscious, because I suddenly knew all the words, but had no idea what I was singing. As I started examing the lyrics closely, I realized what I was singing and started laughing like a crazy person in my car by myself. Luckily, because of ear pieces with cell phones and speakerphone, I believe I successly passed off to passing traffic that I was participating in a conversation. wink wink. Anyway, I think boy bands can get away with these lyrics during the holidays, because, they're the holidays. And, as much as Christmas is commercialized, I totally buy into it. Every bit of it. Holiday drinks at Starbucks, cheesy music and movies...I'm every advertizer's dream. So, even though I now laugh, instead of swoon, as I sing along to the cheesy lyrics with an eye roll every now and then, I will keep on listening, because that's what commercialized Christmas is all about.

I'm a Ryan

I recently realized that I have become a Ryan Atwood. For those of you who are not in the know, let me tell you a little about this puppy-dog-faced character from the O.C. No, I don't wear wife beaters, and no I don't think i'm from the wrong side of the tracks, and no, i don't have a neurotic, cute, funny friend named Seth (sigh), but I am a faux-orphan. That's right, a faux-orphan. I have a pattern of adopting myself into other families and friend groups. My first set of best friends were already best friends before I came into the picture. And then there were three. When I went to Spring premiere before attending Baylor, I think i was the only kid without my parents...so a family i met, adopted me for the weekend. And now, i've adopted myself, at least temporarily, into jan's family and renee and katie's friendship. It's very odd. What got me thinking about this? Well, I can blame it on the upcoming holidays. Yes, I do have a family and we're going to see them this Christmas in Florida. We haven't been during the holidays in like 5 years. Before, going used to be a regular thing, but it stopped when I was a freshman in college. That was the first year we said "no, not gonna do it." We stayed in CT and had a relaxing holiday. So, we're taking the plunge and facing the fam this year. distressing. We kind of have an arrested development family...only it's more disfunction, less funny. if it were, i would be more than happy to go. Imagine having a Tobias, Buster or a George Michael, what fun. Anyway, i won't air out all my dirty laundry, I will just say that because of this, I have definitely become a faux-orphan, thus Ryan Atwood--puppy dog face and all.

ode to naps and coffee and jim

As much as it sucked getting up at 4:30/5 a.m. everyday for 3 1/2 years of crew practice, I have to admit, I miss the wonderful naps that followed. You might not know it, but naps at 7 a.m. are the best after a hard practice followed by a shower. I guess you can't really enjoy a nap unles your completely exhausted. Another great time to nap, 3 p.m. I miss naps. If I had never exhausted myself, then I would never have enjoyed the two things that snap me out of my dream state: naps and coffee. Obviously college and Starbucks has something to do with my coffee loving, but I think it must also be in the genes. My mother and father, both coffee lovers. My sister and brother, also coffee lovers. My grandmother, coffee addict. I suppose some may say I'm addicted also, but I know I can quit, I just don't want to. Who does, really? I already had to give up my weekday naps. You can't really take them after work, because it's only a couple hours to real sleep. Anyway, i'm going to be add and switch subjects....So, the office... is a great show. I watched it tonigh. It's like watching a really funny mini-romantic comedy every tuesday. Jim is great. I think I could stand working at a place like that if I had a Jim.